


Calm Before the Storm

by bluerose5



Series: FShenko One Shots [2]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Adept (Mass Effect), Elysium, F/M, Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Intimacy, Love, Mass Effect 2, One Shot, Pre-Suicide Mission, Romance, Spacer (Mass Effect), Swearing, past/referenced trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:07:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29491797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluerose5/pseuds/bluerose5
Summary: Shepard gets a call before they head through the Omega-4 Relay.
Relationships: Kaidan Alenko/Female Shepard
Series: FShenko One Shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2166225
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	Calm Before the Storm

**Author's Note:**

> Threw this together to follow up Unfinished Business, but it can also be read as a standalone in my opinion. Regardless, I hope you enjoy, and feel free to leave kudos, comments, and any other form of feedback. :D

The last time Shepard faced odds like this, she had been on the SR-1.

Back then, it felt like she had less doubts. She had her most trusted companions around, a crew that she was familiar with. She had a formidable foe in Saren, and beyond him, Sovereign. It was like Garrus said. Things felt simpler back then. Race in, blow up some geth, and save the day.

Now, she felt completely out of her element.

Perhaps that was to be expected after dying and losing two years of her life to an enemy that threatened the very foundations of galactic stability. Not that those foundations were all that sturdy to begin with, mind you.

She couldn’t even complain about her new crew either. Outside of the Cerberus personnel, those that Shepard have rallied around her were a dependable bunch. After securing their loyalty, she would trust any of them to have her back in a fight, just as she would have theirs; however, that felt like where the connection started and ended at times.

That couldn’t be said about all of them. After all, Shepard _did_ consider most of her squadmates friends, her closeness to them as varied and diverse as their personalities.

It didn’t feel fully reciprocal at times, though. While Shepard didn’t mind doing favors and going on missions for her crew, she was still human herself at the end of the day. If one was to ask her when was the last time someone asked how _she_ was doing, Shepard didn’t know if she could give them an honest answer.

But she kept quiet on the matter. It felt selfish to bring up when everyone else had their own issues to think about before hitting the Collector base. Her crew had their hands full enough as is without having to listen to her whining on top of it, so she threw herself into making sure that they were ready, that all heads were cleared and all unfinished business was left resolved.

Her own wants and needs could wait. That’s what the galaxy demanded of her. That’s what was _required_ of her.

Her duty was first and foremost to protect the galaxy.

That’s what she kept telling herself at least.

The problem was that it was hard to keep up that mindset, especially when they were only hours away from going through the Omega-4. All she could think about was that night before Ilos, how it felt to get that brief respite with Kaidan before throwing themselves into the fray. Now, all she had left was the silence in her cabin to keep her company.

Kaidan wasn’t there, and he wasn’t going to magically show up and walk through the door, no matter how much she wanted him to.

When faced with that kind of emptiness, Thane said it best.

_“When a memory feels as real as life, it’s as valid as life.”_

Clad in her armor, Shepard went and sat down on the edge of her bed with her helmet in hand. She stared back at her reflection in the visor, her expression blank and empty. A gaping void carved out a hole in her chest, every breath reverberating with pain.

_“Wouldn’t you rather lose yourself in such a memory than spend the night alone, staring at walls of metal and plastic?”_

Yes. The short answer to that was yes.

God, she missed Kaidan.

She didn’t think there was a weakness in admitting that. There were simply people who touched other’s lives so much that their impact was often felt even when they were gone. Even after they left, their effect continued on, similar to how a pebble left an echo of waves in its wake when dropped into water. The initial impact might have come and gone, but its aftereffects remained in play long after.

Kaidan was one of the few in the galaxy who Shepard felt safe in confiding in. He wasn’t looking for her to fix neither him nor his problems. He had said as much before when they were first getting to know one another. All he wanted was someone to trust and rely on, just as she did.

But what they had together went beyond the battlefield, went beyond the bedroom. Their relationship didn't start and end there. Horizon wouldn’t have stuck with Shepard so much had that been the case.

Hell, that might have been easier at least, had it all been casual and stress relief, but Shepard knew that Kaidan wasn’t into that. _She_ wasn’t into that. Nothing wrong with those who were, but it just wasn’t her cup of tea.

Which brought her back to the matter at hand.

Did she _really_ want to think about that night before Ilos again? Some days, she felt as if that was _all_ she thought about. If she was going to lose herself in a memory, would she be able to live with herself if that was the last one she chose to focus on before throwing herself into mortal peril for the fate of the galaxy?

She knew the answer before the question was even asked.

Instead of focusing on that, she laid back onto the sheets, her helmet clutched desperately to her chest as she stared up through the glass above her bed. She watched for a moment as the stars flew by at light speed, her throat constricting at the sight.

_Air. Air. She needed air._

_There was a leak. That was all she could think. Her mind was swirling, her vision fuzzy. She choked on what air she did breathe. Her suit’s VI voiced several warnings. Didn’t matter. Shepard couldn’t hear them. Darkness was closing in, the sharp tug of Alchera’s atmosphere beckoning her closer. A siren’s call leading her to her demise, impossible to resist._

Shepard snapped her eyes shut, gritting her teeth as she worked through those breathing exercises Chakwas taught her. Her jaw clenched, and her teeth felt ready to snap.

She’s alive. _Shepard. Is. Alive._ The past can’t hurt her anymore, not if she doesn’t let it.

It had been a long time since she feared space. After living there for so long, it ripped her apart from the inside out to have her home be transformed into a source of terror.

Her body remained tense, but Shepard eventually managed to ground herself once more, reeling herself back down to where she was in that current moment.

Keeping her eyes closed, she tried again. This time, focusing on a happier time.

_In the months after Sovereign’s defeat, Shepard had busied herself with searching out the pockets of rogue geth that still remained. She didn’t give herself much time to rest, every day haunted by dreams —or in this case, nightmares— that still lingered from the Prothean beacon._

_The Reapers were still out there. The galaxy preferred to remain “secure” in their foolish state of oblivion, but Shepard had no such luxury._

_She knew more than anyone of the true threat that loomed on the horizon. Every single waking moment felt like it was dedicated to it, even if some of those moments felt more like banging her head against a brick wall compared to others._

_But they couldn’t keep on going. Eventually, they had to stop. The crew had to rest._

_Shepard did too, depending on who you asked._

_When she pulled up the galaxy map, she nearly barked out a laugh in the middle of the CIC when she saw the closest port available._

_Oh, the irony._

_Nevertheless, she charted a course for Elysium, announcing their plans to stop, refuel, and repair._

_When the crew was granted shore leave, Shepard swore there was a collective sigh._

_It wasn’t a long trip to get there, but that didn’t make Shepard any less apprehensive. After retiring to her quarters, she spent the entire time pacing and looking through a datapad. None of the words ever seemed to really register, but it felt nice to merely have something in her hands keeping her busy for the time being._

_Of course, that pitiful excuse of a distraction could only go so far before she started storming through her room, tearing it apart in order to find her civvies to change into._

_Kaidan walked in right as she fell over onto the floor in an attempt to put her sneakers on, huffing dramatically when messy strands of red hair fell in front of her face. As the doors to her quarters slid shut behind him, he covered his mouth with his hand, but not before Shepard caught sight of that subtle twitch at the corner of his lips._

_Getting to her feet, she brushed herself off with a roll of her eyes._

_“Yeah, yeah, Lieutenant. Laugh it up,” she said. “Well, how do I look?”_

_To play it up, she even did a full turn, arms held out on display._

_In all honesty, her outfit was nothing special in her opinion. It was only a simple, grey, loose-fitting muscle shirt with some faded black jeans to show off the shape of her legs. Casual enough not to draw attention, but breathable enough for her to maneuver if they got into any trouble._

_Some might call her paranoid, but considering how her last shore leave on Elysium went, she felt she had a damn right to be paranoid. Expect the worst, hope for the best, and all that._

_Before she could get too caught up in her thoughts, Kaidan stepped forward, wrapping her up in his arms with a soft, tender kiss. Shepard instantly melted against him, wrapping her own arms around his shoulders._

_With a grin, they parted, Shepard fiddling with the hair at the nape of his neck._

_“You look as beautiful as you always do,” he whispered, chasing after her lips to steal yet another kiss._

_Then another._

_And another._

_Shepard laughed lightly between each press of their lips, but that simply made him turn his focus elsewhere, covering her face in a flurry of tiny kisses._

_Her heart skipped a beat._

_“Alright!” She giggled. Yes, she —_ the _Commander Shepard— giggled. Someone, alert the masses! “I think you’ve made your point.”_

_“Have I?” His resulting smile was just as goofy as their whole display. It was rare to see him smile so brightly, the corners of his eyes crinkling in response. “Oh, I don’t know. I have trouble keeping everyone off of you on our good days. How am I going to survive when they see their beloved savior like this?”_

_Shepard snorted._

_“Come on. Seriously?”_

_“I wouldn’t dare joke about such a matter, Commander.”_

_“Of course not.”_

_Resting his forehead against hers, his gaze then locked onto hers, squeezing her close._

_“In all seriousness,” he said, “I’m glad you’re getting a little R &R. You’ve been running on fumes non-stop since Sovereign was defeated.”_

_Before Shepard could argue, Kaidan continued._

_“I’m worried about you, Jane.”_

_Damn him. Whatever rebuttal Shepard had died on her tongue. She knew that he was serious when he dropped all sense of formality. It was one thing for him to drop the “Commander” every now and then, but he skipped right over “Shepard” or even “Shep” and went straight for her first name. Not a big deal for most people, but it was a dead giveaway when it came to Kaidan that he wasn’t only looking out for her as his commanding officer._

_He was looking out for the woman behind the title, and that meant more than she could even put into words._

_It made her absolutely powerless when confronted by his concern._

_Sighing, she tugged gently at his hair, searching his expression._

_“You_ do _know what happened the last time I took shore leave on Elysium, right?”_

_Kaidan chuckled._

_“Well, if any pirates show up this time, you’ll have your whole crew there to back you up.”_

_True enough._

_“Come on,” she said, leading them out into the mess. “We should be arriving soon enough.”_

_The entire ship was abuzz with activity, excited chatter permeating the air all around them. Everyone attended to their duties as expected, but there was no denying how antsy everyone was to finally pull into port. A pang of guilt burrowed deep into Shepard’s chest in response, wondering how long her crew has been in need of a break, working hard and quite possibly pushed to their limits day in and day out because of her._

_When they didn’t have eyes following their every move, Kaidan briefly snuck his hand into hers, giving it a tight squeeze before releasing it._

_Right. They were with her, no matter what. She just had to remember that._

_After all, these were the people that_ mutinied _with her. The people that very well followed her to hell and back._

_They would follow her lead because, at the end of the day, they were her family._

_Shepard took a deep breath to ground herself, listening to Joker announce their approach._

_When she and Kaidan neared the airlock, Tali and Garrus were already waiting for them, bickering about some techno babble that went completely over Shepard’s head. Something about the configurations of their omni-tools compared to a new model that was about to be released. Kaidan followed easily enough, his eyes lighting up ever so slightly as he joined the conversation._

_As they all stepped into the decontamination chamber, Shepard watched them with a warm fondness, shaking her head at the lot of them._

_“Wrex not coming?” Shepard asked, nudging Garrus pointedly._

_Glancing over at her, he shook his head._

_“Nah, he said he’ll catch up later. Plans on taking a nap with all of the ‘squishy aliens gone.’” His mandibles fluttered at that, unable to contain his amusement. “He said he’ll meet up with us in the morning local-time for breakfast.”_

_“On my tab, I’m guessing?”_

_Garrus chuckled. “As if anyone else would be willing to foot_ that _bill, Commander.”_

_Shepard grumbled._

_Before the doors could close behind them, Liara slipped into the decontam room at the last second, huffing as she tried to catch her breath._

_“You could have given me more than a minute’s notice that we were meeting up here,” Liara said, shoving Garrus by the shoulder._

_“And make things easy on you, T’Soni? Where’s the fun in that?”_

_Above all the chatter, Shepard listened to the ship’s VI, leaning against the wall nearby._

_“Decontamination in progress.”_

_She leaned her head back against the cool metal, letting her eyes slip shut as she lost herself in the low hum._

_“Decontamination in progress.”_

_After hearing that so many times, the VI’s voice had become a small, familiar comfort. Funny how something so trivial could grow on someone after a while._

_Once the room had pressurized with the external atmosphere, the outer doors flew open. The others stepped out first, but Kaidan stayed behind, his hand slipping into Shepard’s once more._

_Her eyes fluttered open, gaze fixated solely on him._

_He stared back at her, his expression nothing less than adoring now that they didn’t have constant reminders of regulations and protocol looming about._

_For a moment, they didn’t say anything, lost in their own little world. When his free hand reached out to cup her cheek, she instantly leaned into his touch, all the air in her lungs suddenly gone._

_“Kaidan,” she whispered._

_It was mind-boggling to Shep how such a simple touch could leave her so breathless._

_Her heart raced, and her skin grew warm to the touch. A light dusting of pink overtook her freckled cheeks, lips parted around a shaky breath._

_Kaidan was in no better shape. His pupils swallowed up those warm, brown eyes in an inky darkness. He gravitated towards Shepard, pulled into her orbit. He glanced down at her lips, lingering there before taking in the sight of her entirely. Unlike before, he took his time and savored this moment together, almost as if he was trying to memorize every last detail._

_As if she would disappear the second he looked away._

_Turning her head to the side, she placed her hand over his, placing a kiss upon his palm._

_“Come on,” she said. “Let’s not keep the others waiting.”_

_Following at her side, they interlaced their fingers between them as they walked._

_“And here I thought we could spare a few minutes.”_

_Shepard smirked at him._

_“And what, pray tell, would we need a few minutes to do?” Shep asked._

_Kaidan matched her smirk._

_“To get into trouble, of course.”_

_“I can tell you now, we’d need more than a ‘few’ if we were gonna do that.”_

_“Fair enough,” he replied, watching the others a few paces ahead of them. They walked through the docking bay in a comfortable silence together, listening to the ambient noise around them as they basked in one another’s presence. “I think that this will be good for us, though.”_

_“Oh, really?”_

A loud chirp snatched Shepard out of the memory, startling her as she glanced around in question, back in the present for the time being.

Her omni-tool chirped once more, demanding her attention as a call came through.

When she saw the name, she jolted upright, getting comfortable on the edge of her bed.

She had tried to call him earlier, but she hadn’t gotten an answer then. The fact that he called her back…

Before the call could drop, she accepted, staring at the screen as his face came into view.

“Shepard,” he greeted, sounding more tired than he ever has before, a stark contrast compared to the Kaidan in her memories.

Then again, he could probably say the same about her.

“Kaidan,” she whispered, swallowing thickly past the lump in her throat. “I thought you would be busy.”

“I was,” he said, pursing his lips. “Had a meeting to attend. You know how it is.”

“Yeah,” she agreed.

For a moment, they remained silent, awkwardly so. She hated that this was becoming the norm for them every time they interacted now, the air filled with so much uncertainty.

“Sorry, I—” She shook her head at herself, at her foolish sentimentality. “I know this isn’t the most secure way to contact you with me on the Normandy now.” Her not-so-subtle way of warning him to watch what he says. “But I just needed to at least try and talk with you before—”

She sank her teeth into her bottom lip, Kaidan narrowing his eyes at her in suspicion.

Not that the Alliance could do much inside the Terminus without risking an all-out war, but Shepard had always tried to hide what their endgame destination was.

The last thing they needed was for the Alliance to find _some_ way to interfere and screw up the entire mission.

Kaidan, on the other hand, remained unimpressed.

“Before _what_ , Shep?” he retorted tersely. When she didn’t answer, he scowled. “Still keeping secrets then, even after Alchera?”

“Kaidan,” she started, only to be cut off.

“Don’t,” he sighed. He averted his gaze, jaw clenched. “Just _don’t.”_

He might not show it outright, but hearing that hurt in his voice cut through her, brutal and relentless.

Well, at this point, they were already too close to the destination at hand to be intercepted anyways, and the Alliance wouldn’t dare venture this close to the heart of the Terminus, no matter what Kaidan or anyone else said.

Bracing herself, she sat up, her back pulled ramrod straight with tension.

Best to get it over with, yank fast and hard like with a band-aid.

“We’re going through the Omega-4 Relay,” she admitted, her words rushed. She didn’t dare look at him, not yet. “We’re going through to lead an all-out assault on the Collector base.”

This might constitute as a breach in all sorts of security protocol, so far as Miranda, the Illusive Man, and Cerberus were concerned but screw it. Screw them and their rules for all she cared at this point. The end was nearing, and she was tired of it all. She was tired of the Illusive Man playing his little games and justifying using her and her crew as bait when it suited _his_ needs, only to turn down any attempts she made at taking control of her own damn life.

If she was going to die again, she was going to do so on her own terms. She was going to stay true to herself, to Commander goddamn Shepard.

And he could go to hell.

When she focused back on her omni-tool, she was taken aback.

Tears silently trickled down Kaidan’s cheeks in steady streams, his eyes cast aside as he refused to look at her.

“Please, for the love of god,” he said, his voice thick with emotion, “tell me you’re kidding. _This_ was the high-stakes mission that you had mentioned?”

Her responding silence was answer enough.

“Shepard,” Kaidan snapped, “that isn’t just ‘high-stakes.’ That’s fucking suicide. What are you th—”

It was too much. She can’t.

“Do you remember our trip to Elysium?” she asked, one second away from breaking. But she couldn’t afford to shatter, not now. That would have to wait until _after,_ if there even was an ‘after _._ ’ “We arrived there at night, and the skies were so beautiful. We barely managed to get out of the spaceport before the crowds could find us, went bar hopping with the others.”

He fell silent, listening.

The desperation in her voice begged him to have mercy, and she could only be grateful when he did.

“Yeah.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “That was when we had our first actual date.”

“Long overdue.” She chuckled, even if the sound lacked its usual joy.

_“Leave it to us to go about things out of order,” Shepard had said, glancing around at the latest club they were in._

_Elysium saw a lot of tourism and space traffic, so the heavy focus on nightlife wasn’t too surprising in Shepard’s opinion. However, she and Kaidan had taken the night at a noticeably slower pace than the others, watching them make their way around the dance floor in a drunken haze._

_Shepard was pleasantly buzzed at least, as was Kaidan. They had taken advantage of the opportunity to take some time to themselves, sequestered away in a secluded corner. They all but snuggled in the booth together, a warm weight against each other’s sides as they continued to talk over the music._

_“Come on, you’ve got to be kidding me!” Kaidan laughed._

_Shepard pouted at him._

_“I’m not, though!”_

_“Seriously?” he asked, incredulous. “Not even once? You’ve only had that cheap imitation crap that they sell out here in space?”_

_“Hey, I thought it tasted pretty good.”_

_“I can guarantee it’s nowhere near as good as the real stuff.” Kaidan scoffed, feigning disappointment. “Oh, Shep, you poor woman. It’s a miracle that you’ve gone on for this long without it.”_

_“Wonders never cease,” Shepard deadpanned._

_Kaidan nodded grimly, tsking at her under his breath._

_“Imagine, being twenty-nine years old and never having tried ice cream, and you don’t even have the excuse of allergies or intolerance.”_

_“I’ve tried ice cream,” Shepard huffed, playfully crossing her arms over her chest._

_“Yeah, ‘imitation’ ice cream that’s either been dehydrated or engineered to mimic the real thing. Doesn’t count at all, Shep.”_

_“I can’t believe we’re actually having this discussion,” she snickered, staring up at him with a grin, “but there’s clearly only one way to rectify the situation.”_

_He raised an eyebrow at her, twirling a strand of her hair idly around his finger._

_“And what’s that?” he asked._

_She shrugged, trying to act casual about the whole issue, even as butterflies were swarming around her stomach with nerves._

_“The next time we take an extended leave—” And heavens know how long that would be from now. “—we should head back to Earth together.”_

_Kaidan tensed ever so slightly, but Shepard continued on before she could lose her nerve._

_“I mean, I wouldn’t mind getting to see_ your _home. We could go to Vancouver, visit your parents, and uh—” When he didn’t respond in kind, her voice died out in disappointment. “You know what, nevermind. Forget about it.”_

_“No, no, no,” Kaidan reassured her. “It sounds like a great idea. Really. I just didn’t think you had any interest in that.” He nudged her teasingly. “We all know that space is your first love, Commander.”_

_She rolled her eyes._

_“Yeah, but I’m open to visiting the homeworld,” she admitted. “You can show me what life is truly like groundside.”_

_With a smirk, she pecked him on the cheek._

_“Besides,_ my _mom often works out of the system, and I’m sure she’d be more than happy to meet you.”_

_“Oh god,” he said, “am I gonna get the whole cliché talk about marriage and how she wants grandkids?”_

_“If only,” Shepard snorted. “More likely, you’ll get a shovel talk out of the exchange. She’ll give you the whole ‘there’s a lot of places to hide a body in space’ kind of speech.”_

_“Even better,” he joked._

_They continued to talk about everything and anything in the world. Nothing in particular kept their attention for too long, but as Shepard worked through her latest drink, she grew sloppy in hiding her emotions. Her eyes kept straying towards the dance floor, watching as everyone got lost in the heat of the moment. The music flowed through them, rhythmic and hypnotic._

_Shepard was well-aware that she wasn’t the best dancer out there. While she smiled and tolerated the jokes made at her expense, she was secretly self-conscious about the matter, mostly because she genuinely_ liked _to dance._

_It just didn’t help matters that growing up on a spacecraft wasn’t exactly the best place to explore such things._

_Kaidan watched her thoughtfully, eventually standing up from the table._

_“Wanna dance?” he asked._

_When he offered his hand, Shepard blinked owlishly at him._

_“What? Seriously?”_

_He shrugged._

_“Why not?”_

_She hesitated, but eventually slipped her hand into his, approaching the dance floor with a slight pang of trepidation._

_Her heels dug into the floor, dragging them to a near-halt._

_“I, uh—” she stammered. “I don’t know about this.”_

_Kaidan stopped short, looking back at her with a reassuring smile._

_“Nothing to be nervous about. If you don’t want to dance, then we don’t have to. Simple as that.”_

_Shepard looked between Kaidan and the dance floor, sinking her teeth into her bottom lip before she eventually relented._

_“Fine,” she muttered, despite how her eyes lit up in excitement._

_Leading her out onto the dance floor, Kaidan brought her flush against him, unable to take his eyes off of her as they blended into the crowd. She was equally as captivated, focused solely on him. With his hands on her hips, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. There was barely any space left between them, the heat of the crowd wrapping around them in a warm embrace._

_The music surrounded them from all sides, the steady thump of bass creating a loud, pulsing beat._

_Brow furrowed in concentration, Shepard did her best to keep up, trying to keep track of the rhythm._

_Kaidan chuckled under his breath, resting his forehead against hers while he stared deep into her eyes._

_“Hey,” he said._

_“Hey,” she replied, left breathless by their close proximity._

_“Stop thinking,” Kaidan told her._

_He gave her a quick twirl, only to pull her right back into his arms, her back pressed against his chest. Even through her clothes, it felt like their skin was brushing, heat prickling all over her body like a raging wildfire. Shepard felt flushed, warm down to her very core._

_“Relax,” Kaidan whispered, his lips brushing along the shell of her ear._

_A shiver trailed down her spine, his breath ghosting along her neck._

_“Easy for you to say,” Shepard choked out, but she tried to let go, even if only for a moment._

_Slowly but surely, she then melted into his arms, and together they swayed to the music all night long._

“I never thought that I would actually be decent at dancing,” Shepard said.

She briefly closed her eyes, long enough to recall that feeling of being in his arms again.

If only she could get lost in that feeling forever.

“Perhaps you just needed to find the right partner,” Kaidan replied.

Shepard snickered at that.

“Getting all cheesy on me now, Staff Commander?”

“I wouldn’t dare, ma’am.”

Opening her eyes, she stared down at her omni-tool’s interface, not wanting to miss a single moment if she could help it.

Still, there was only so much she could say or do before she had to address the tension brewing between them.

“Kaidan,” she stated, “I’m sorry. You know, for keeping this from you.”

He was silent, contemplating her words.

“I figure it’s only fair. I’ve kept things from you as well.” He sighed, shaking his head in disbelief. “It’s just hard when you’re looking at the person you— the person you _love,_ and they’re on opposite sides of the playing field.”

“Yeah.” Shepard grimaced. “I know.”

“What am I supposed to do with that, Shep? What are _we_ supposed to do with that?”

“Easy.” Even if it was anything but that. “We do our jobs, and we save the galaxy.”

“As simple as that?”

“As simple as that.”

Kaidan scoffed. “Excuse me if I’m not as confident in that plan as you are. Hell, Shep, you’re going through a relay that _no one_ has ever returned from. Where do we go from here?”

“Well, we start by you keeping my armor and my tags safe,” she said, the answer obvious to her. “After all, I have a promise to keep. I have someone special who’s going to be waiting on me to get back alive. I plan not to disappoint.”

“Someone special, huh?”

“So special, in fact, that I’m gonna go out and kick some Collector ass, then kick the Reapers’ ass, and build a life with him in the aftermath. Whatever that may be.”

He certainly wasn’t expecting that, those expressive eyes of his wide and awestruck.

Attempting to compose himself, he cleared his throat.

“Planning that far ahead?” he asked, to which she shrugged.

“Gives me something to look forward to.”

Waiting for his response, the silence settled between them. Although some awkwardness and tension lingered, Shepard would like to think that some of that old familiarity and comfort started to return as well. A strange mix, but it was progress nevertheless.

When Kaidan eventually spoke, his voice rang true with a note of finality.

“Well then, get the job done, Shepard.”

He smiled at her, weary yet hopeful.

“And when you’re ready to work on that future together…”

Blinking quickly, he trailed off, his breath catching in the back of his throat.

“Come home to me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! <3


End file.
